How can i be more comfortable with people touching me, like guys tickling me, or people just standing close, or hugging and stuff??
PLEASE HELP!
OH and how to i act in return to those things!?How to be touchy-feely....how do i pop my bubble?
Guys, particularly in their adolescent years, have a tendency to start experimenting with the opposite sex by touching girls to see how they react. It may be innocuous at first -- something like patting a girl on the shoulder or back, maybe even coming up from behind and trying to give them an unsolicited neck or shoulder rub -- but it's also similar to what sharks may do in nudging their prey with their noses at first to see how the potential victim may react. Adolescent dudes can be horn dogs so they like to test girls to see how close they can get before she beats them away or orders them to stop.
As adolescents mature, though, they find this kind of personal touching is less accepted. It's rude. Shaking hands is fine but this sneaking up and trying to start an unsolicited back rub on someone is not cool anymore. It's juvenile and adults learn that is not the way to approach someone.
When it comes to hugging, adults usually ask first before they do it. That is really getting into someone's private space so it is not something that people should assume is a "right" to perform on another, and those that do are presumptuous and insensitive.
If you feel that you are too much in a bubble however and want to be more accepting of others touching you, then it can be as simple as self talk to train your own mind not to react negatively when it happens. Visualize yourself over and over in a social setting where guys may touch you in some social (not sexual) way just as an expression of their friendship, and your liking it. Write about it on a piece of paper again and again in an effort to break through to your subconscious mind, similar to the way a teacher may make your write 100 times on the blackboard "I will not chew gum in class".
I would also say that if you get a boyfriend, there may be more touching involved in that relationship such that you will become more comfortable with other people touching you.
But you may also have something inside at a deeper level that is holding you back...something that can be found better by a mental health professional and that is beyond whatever pop-wisdom you may find here on the Yahoo! Answers response pages. I am not saying you are nuts or messed up mentally. But you may have had one or more bad experiences earlier in life which lies hidden in your conscious mind but goes into reaction mode when your personal space barrier is broken. I've know women with serious phobias of certain things that cropped up because they had been molested as a child by family or a trusted family friend. They had to go to years of counseling and were even on medication to help with their unexplained anxiety attacks that became debilitating in the woman's ability to get through simple everyday tasks like driving alone or riding in an elevator by themselves.
So what I am saying is that your preference to not let some people touch you may actually be more appropriate than what some rude guys try to make you believe if they chastise or tease you because you don't let them touch you. But there is also a balance you should strike between allowed and acceptable touching, no touching, and touching too much. If visualizing and then experimenting in real life with acceptable social touching doesn't work for you, then do consider talking it out with an adult or mental health professional -- not because you are mentally ill -- but because there may be something hidden which is holding you back. You want to get over it so reaching out for some help is fine too if you can't get this buggaboo out of your conscience on your own.
OMG LOL.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE !!
My friends are always like. "Omg. Why do you flinch so much when people poke you?"
Just give a little smile when they do that, to give off a friendly wave~
Lol, wow I sounded cheesy there. xDHow to be touchy-feely....how do i pop my bubble?
To get yourself used to it, do it yourself. Try to stand closer to people.
All you do is return the favor. They hug you, you hug back. They tickle you, you laugh. It's easy.
When people are touching you, or are too close just breathe and think, "hey, this is okay. I'm fine" And sooner or later you'll just get used to it.
Just smile(= Or however you want to react!
Just don't spazz out or anything.
GOODLUCK!(=How to be touchy-feely....how do i pop my bubble?
I thought i was the only one lol when someone goes to give me a hug i give them a gone out look or just the idea of other people touching me especially girl's annoy's me,i dont like people in my personal space.go see a pshycologist that's where im going 2morow :P
work your way up till you get use to it or grin and bare it
No comments:
Post a Comment